Transitioning.

So yes, okay, it’s been a while. A long while granted; but can I disguise my ignorance to this blog to the illusive appearance of ‘writers block’? No, I didn’t think so…

Within the past few months anyway, various things have happened; life has continued (surprise surprise), People have come and gone -and unwanted-ly come back again to their dismissal- and a major-ish chapter of my life has finished. School. The final finish line was in sight in the form of a two and a half hour exam but now in this turns out to be the start of the transitioning. The wait for those 3 little letters that will permit access to university or turn me away. During this time, the uncertainty is driving me mad. Life has slowed down completely; I’m not sure what to through myself into next now as intense studying periods -and panic attacks- has stopped. Back to the ‘transitioning’; as excited as I should be about new chapters of my life opening; ultimately I’m terrified. Terrified of letting go of safety and terrified of being turned away from my possible future. So now what I mainly feel is myself slipping into this strange realm of confused unshift-able sadness; sadness which has lead me back down a path of hurt I thought I had left.

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